Dottie Leland, Lorraine Giles, and Iris ‘Ms. Iris’ Brewster were known colloquially as The Golden Girls of Julep, or, depending on who was asked, something more colorful. Thursday afternoon was reserved in their calendars for a game of cards. The game varied and the rules were made up. “We never play for money, gambling is a sin.” It wasn’t really about the cards as much as the spreading of gossip and comparing of rumors they had gathered through the week. This tradition had been going on for more than a decade. It had become just as mandatory to play cards on Thursday as it was to attend church on Wednesday night and Sunday morning. The timing was no coincidence. Each lady belonged to a separate denomination which worked to their benefit to diversify the information collected.
The games were a competitive affair. There was usually some one-upmanship about who had the juiciest bit of information and when that was over it would go to whoever got the best deal on their shopping escapades that week. If one member of the group got a better deal than the other it entitled them to bragging rights for the entire week.
Nothing seemed to draw more envy than someone that could get a good deal on meat. Steak. Pork chops. Whole fryer chickens. The cheaper the meat the more the prestige. This bragging became so competitive over the years the women began to bring their receipts and their meat to the game as proof and would use them as currency of sort, to trade with as they played cards…”It ain’t gambling...if you’re playing for meat”.
The meats came from far and wide. A good portion were sourced from Tony’s Grocery, Deer Processing, and Sportswear when unclaimed venison went on sale, but the ladies were not against driving great distances (10mi or less) to grab the best bargain for bragging. As the competition became more intense the amount of meat became greater and greater. They went from hauling their goods in little Igloo Coolers to large rolling Rubbermaids. The ladies weren’t actually buying any more meat than usual, they just couldn’t swap it all out for winnings in a single card game. They were forced to take it home and either cook it or refreeze it for the next week.
Dottie purchased a 10lb uncut tube of deli bologna for 75% off retail on one of her meat missions at a grocery store’s going-out-of- business sale a town over from Julep. She received numerous accolades for the deal itself but since bologna is low brow in comparison to some of the other choice meats it took 59 games of cards for her to unload it...or, in normal people time, 14 months.
Before each and every one of the 59 games she would take the bologna out of her freezer, place it in her cooler, take it to the card game, place it on the table for presentation, play cards for 8-9 hours, place the limp tube back in the cooler, drag it home and put it back in the freezer. Every now and again she would forget about it in the back of her car...generally on a steamy 99 degree afternoon. “It stayed in the cooler. Ain’t no cold getting out. Ain’t no heat getting in.”
Ms. Iris ended up being the lucky winner of the 10lb bologna, much to to Lorraine's chagrin. “I’ve been eyeing that thing for a year now. Iris has always stuck her nose up at lunch meat any other time we had it at cards”. There had been an inch of snow the week before that had shutdown the entire town so nobody had time to shop for new meat before the fateful game. “Of course I can drive in the ice, it’s all them other people that scare me”. Ms. Iris didn’t care for bologna but she liked winning. “I got a good idea what to do with this”.
Usually such a big piece of meat may have been cut back up and refrozen in smaller amounts after like a winner of a hundred dollar bill splitting it to twenties. That was not the case with the bologna. It was never seen again until The Julep First Baptist Summer Bible School Program was canceled that July. Somehow all the children got sick after a covered dish meal sponsored by the Hosannah in the Highest Bible Study Group. “The mayo in the macaroni salad must have gotten hot in the trunk of the car. Couldn’t have been the bologna. I kept it frozen”.