I got this bag in the laundry room and every time I hear the little buzzer go off on the dryer I run over there and grab all the dryer lint out of the trap and stick it in there. I go through it first and get all the finger nails out and pick out the fortune’s from the fortune cookies that get stuck in there...we don’t eat chinese food that often but it never fails that one of them little fortunes gets in there...probably witchcraft...or gypsy’s...
I throw all that junk in the bag...then when the bag fills up I go to the closet where I got a bunch of old candles I stole from the church. You’d be surprised how many of them damn things they throw away...they have them candlelight vigils when someone dies from some something awful and everybody goes and sings and waves candles around...I don’t go to that mess...but I know that when they get done they just put them candles in a box...so I just take them. Never know when you need a bunch for a night of romance or more importantly to make some firestarters.
Personally I prefer fat-lighter, lighter-pine, for my fire starters but it’s a pain in the ass to get. I tell you, you ain’t no kind of man if you ain’t go no fire starters sitting around the house. Now people will say...I don’t need no damn fire starter...I just use old newspaper and Victoria’s Secret catalogs...First of all, what would happen if a tornado came and blew away all your newspapers and catalogs? ...Well you’d probably just start it with something other than newspapers but it would be a hell of a lot easier to start it with a firestarter...and second of all, burning a Victoria’s Secret magazine is a sin...
To make you a good fire starter all you gotta do is melt down a bunch of candles on the stove...try to use a pot your wife ain’t gonna use cause it makes a bit of a mess and she’d kill you if you messed up her good stainless steel pots again...melt it down...throw in the dryer lint and mix it around good. Go outside and pour that goop into some old egg cartons...that way you can break you off a dozen separate starters when you’re done. Make sure you get the cardboard ones, not them damn styrofoams ‘cause they stink like hell when they’re burning. Let the thing dry and you’re ready for any natural disaster that may come about. That’s it.
You’re welcome.